So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
They should really pass out barf bags in church
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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