My nipple is on Facebook.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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