I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
