Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
