We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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