When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
