Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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