I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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