i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
