we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i barfeds in our rink
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize