so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
