I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I fill condoms, not promises.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
