He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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