Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
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