She said her name was "party"
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
