I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize