he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
