I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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