The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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