Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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