you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
