Well apparently he's into motor boating.
oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
