He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
and she was petting her beer can
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
