Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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