I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
