I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
