sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
