is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
