She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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