I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
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he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
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Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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