she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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