you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
