dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
