we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
