found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
