we have pet lesbian snakes
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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