Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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