went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
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its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
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Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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