I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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