I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
