i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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