Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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