i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
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it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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