Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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