If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize