i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
