Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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