Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
my shit smells like andre
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
