jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
