o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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