some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
