Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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