Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Found the puke drawer
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Couch. On fire.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize