I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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