I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
