Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
