laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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