Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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