When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
